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People - Pleasing...that ain't it.

So I was planning to go into another Unraveling post, but I saw this on IG and had to pause.

I'm a recovering people pleaser. As a child, I noticed that going along to get along kept the peace. Even if it was for a short period of time, choosing to not force the issue, not being argumentative, just going with the flow kept the energy down. As a kid, you don't get much say anyway. Especially as a 80s/90s kid. Anything other 'yes ma'am/sir' or 'no ma'am/sir' didn't end well.

The behavior carried over into teenage/adult years in all the forms that you can imagine. It protected me from ridicule and kept me "liked". But why was it more important to be liked, accepted, included than it was to be honest? Well, a lot of times, honesty is a solo road. Especially when you aren't a domineering person. And I wasn't.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is the importance of listening to my voice. She always has my best interest at heart and usually she's thought of how to avoid intentionally hurting others in the process of living my dreams and reaching my goals. Notice I said intentionally hurting others. When you start to stand up for yourself, there is bound to be people who have grown comfortable with (and benefited from) your 'Whatever food you like' ways.

So take inventory and ask yourself what areas in your life do you say yes, even though your gut is telling you no? It isn't easy to start asserting yourself, but it's always worth it.

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