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The Awkward Pause

Once again, I had a post in mind, and got told no.

But obedience is the way. So here we go.

I'm in this weird space right now. Where I need to rest, but feel guilty in doing so. Waves of inadequacy, feeling less than, like I'm in a space that I'm not worthy of. Or maybe like this dress is too tight, but I'm too afraid to up the size. (That analogy is usually a bad thing. LOL)

I've noticed the feelings since the full moon, so I've been trying to just trust the process, but it's hard. Why though? Why is rest so frowned upon? Why can't we stop producing and take a moment to nurture ourselves? Makes no sense, because we know that going balls to walls 24/7 isn't sustainable. Yet we still choose to ignore the nudges to sit our ass down. Like how can I grow in stillness?

So I'm trying to flow more and do less. Less pushing through, and more sitting with my lessons to see where I need to integrate what I've learn. Also leaning on my friends who notice the change and have space to hold for me. (I'm not as good at hiding it anymore, but I guess that's a good thing.) More journaling my feelings, sitting in meditation.

Honestly this is the time of year to slow down. Most things don't grow in winter for a reason. The Earth slows down in preparation for rebirth and regeneration, so embrace it, because when it's time to get that ass in gear, we need to be ready.

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I love what God is doing in your life. It’s crazy, but I see a lot of myself in what you write. I love the transparency. Don’t be like me, I needed rest and I got it but I ended up in a hospital trying to imagine that it was a cruise ship. Rest, it’s a gift.

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I thought I responded to you. LOL My mind is going 90 to nothing most days. Glad to hear that you are doing better. That is the one thing I've learned over the past year and a half. My body will find a way to rest, and most of the time it isn't in a way I would like.

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