Charting A New Course

So initially the title for today's post was terrified, but really excited. I was watching Entergalactic on Netflix, and Meadow is telling Jabari about the art show that her pieces will be displayed in.

It's another comfort movie of mine. 😌 If you haven't seen it, you should check it out.

Anyway, I had planned to write this on Tuesday and schedule it to post today, but things happen for a reason.

I did my last training today and sent my appreciation emails to my leadership. While I was doing all this, I didn't feel the sadness that I felt when I left Misawa. If I'm being honest, that sadness was for a totally different reason. I made a complete shift in Japan, and there was this fear of going back to the way I was before. Back when I didn't express my needs and let life just kinda happen to me. Germany reinforced that my wants and dreams matter.

Today I remembered the words I speak frequently when people tell me that they don't know how I start over every 3 - 4 years: I'm blessed and highly favored. My steps are ordered.

I come from church, so this is something that is embedded in my bones, but as I survey my life, and this chapter comes to a close, I know it to be truth. Everything that has taken place had a purpose. The past 3 years have me very excited about what's next. So, while I sit in the hall waiting for the next door to open, I'm not idle. I'm mapping out my future. Writing down my goals for 2026. Tweaking the plan. Setting attainable progress markers.

But I have to be honest...I am a bit terrified.

But for new reasons...My dreams...my goals? They require me to step out of my comfort zone. They require me to amass new skills. They require me to allow myself to be seen. And that scares the shit out of me. Telling people my plans and having them hold me accountable? Horrifying.

Conversations with a friend:

'The things I know I'm good at...cocky af. Unexplored territory...terrified. Even when people I trust see it in me, taking the leap almost never happens.'

But this go round, I have people holding my hand...before they ever so lovingly shove me off the cliff.