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Transparency Tuesday: The Truth About Love and Relationships

So let’s get right to it. All you need is love right! Love conquers all right! Yeah, it’s easy to talk about all of the mushy, gushy sweet love stuff when we talk about relationships and marriage when things are going well. When things are good, love is well...lovely! But what about the in between times and the downright ugly moments. I promise you, every relationship has them. Relationships have ebbs and flows and sometimes you are ebbing way more than you are flowing and it’s hard to get back on track.

Honestly, it’s not until someone becomes tired of it not working that something changes. Sometimes it’s just easier to function in dysfunction. I liken it to knowing your closet needs to be organized but still just tossing things in there because you don’t have the time or energy to deal with. The reality is when you don’t address it right away you actually spend more energy avoiding it or trying to readjust the way you interact with it. It’s the same in relationships.

It starts to get awkward and the longer it drags out the more energy you have to put into avoiding it. That’s what makes a small thing become a big thing. So what do you do? How do you fix it?

You have to call a thing a thing! Somebody has to be the bigger person and extend the olive branch. It sucks sometimes to be the person who has to swallow their pride and apologize even when you’re not wrong.

See that’s what nobody tells you about relationships or especially marriage. They don’t tell you that sometimes it feels like there’s way more “for worse” than “for better!” They don’t tell you that it is work every single day. Or that even when you think you’ve gotten yourself into a good groove it’s the simplest shit that can come in and seemingly wreck shop.

So yeah, there’s a lot of good but there’s also a lot of ugly. Here’s the thing though…the ugly is where you learn. It’s honestly where the most growth occurs too. And while you don’t want to sit and wade in the ugly, it is necessary. The process of overcoming is essential to building your relationship grit. Once you figure out how to navigate the ugly you can move through it with greater ease. You won’t have to wade in it long. But if you’re thinking that you don’t have a good relationship because you have arguments or disagree or you aren’t your friends relationship goals then you have much work to do. Remember, you are your own goals and you make your own rules! Once you and your mate(s) have established what works for you that is all that matters.

I want to hear your Dope Black Love Stories! Email your stories or complete the form with your story to be featured this month!



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