I spent most of the month of January fasting, meditating, cleansing, and purging quite a few areas of my life. When your thoughts are clearer you can begin to reassess your purpose. I recognize that I will never stop learning about myself because I am an ever evolving being. While this process drained me mentally it also freed me and for that I am grateful.
Now we are in a new month, one of my favorite months (although it is the shortest) and I am excited to share even more with you. But before I can get into the lovey dovey part of why I love February. I have to address something that has been sitting heavy on my heart.
A few years ago we celebrated the crowning of our beautiful sister former Miss USA, Chelsie Kryst. This weekend we learned of her death by suicide. I have no idea what drove her to the point of jumping out of her midtown Manhattan window, but I can say I have been there. I have been at the point where I felt like there was no way out or up and I just wanted it to be over. I have hurt so bad that I felt like I couldn't recover from it. But here's the thing...I DID! But everyone doesn't. You would be surprised to know how many of your sisters and friends are walking around carrying what feels like a ton of bricks on their backs and have no relief in sight.
The first step to truly showing one another love is by showing one another GRACE!
I am always super sensitive to the topic of death by suicide because of my grandmother who did not die by suicide but made many attempts to take her own life. I remember our conversations even as I was a little girl about her wanting the pain to end and for her hurt to be over. While I didn't fully understand the hurt that she meant then, now I have a better grasp of what she could have meant. The difference between my grandmother and myself is that I have never gotten to the point where I actually tried to take my own life. I pray that I never do. I share this to make it clear that depression is very real and to let you know that you encounter strong people every day who are fighting gut wrenching battles silently. Extend grace! Be understanding!
The first step to truly showing one another love is by showing one another GRACE! Your friend may be blowing you off regularly not because they don't want to spend time with you but because they can't find the strength to get out of bed. For some, like myself, who battle depression they are functional until they aren't. I become a recluse and no one will hear from me or see me. It is how I cope until I can address my triggers or get the help that I need to get through whatever storm I may be experiencing. I am fortunate enough to know that the storms don't last always so I work to renew my strength so I can fight the good fight. Everyone hasn't made it there yet and that is ok! Show love and continue to give grace! We all need it!
My prayers are with Chelsie's family and friends! I pray that they remember the beautiful times that they shared. Everyone doesn't wear their hurt or share their struggles, but we all have them. Our greatest desire as human beings is to be wanted, needed, and loved! So I will say it again...Show love and give grace!
I challenge you to start off this love month by checking on a friend you haven't heard from in a while and making sure they are good! Remember to take some time to check in with yourself as well because you know you best!
And as we kick off love month we must also honor the dopeness that is Black History! So Happy Black History Month y'all!
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