Updated: Oct 20, 2021
Here lately I’ve been focusing a lot on freedom, self love, self care, and self worth but I haven’t told you how I arrived to this place.
Before I could get free, I had to realize that I was shackled. Shackled in my thinking. I believed that because things had been a certain way that it was the only way it could be. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Here I am, a pretty smart woman and yet I didn’t think clearly enough to recognize that the only constant is change. Nothing ever remains the same, including people, which includes me! I am people too!
I knew I didn’t like the way things were. I knew that I hated feeling caged in and bound by society’s norms. You have to be this kind of wife or that kind of mother. Don’t be this kind of believer or that kind of whatever. All of these made up rules and restraints from people who have long lived their lives through either being controlled by others or from projecting their own fears onto others. I didn’t and don’t want that for me. I don’t want that for my children. I love being free spirited and not caring what someone else thinks I should or shouldn’t do. I had to learn to say who cares? But before I could do that I had to heal myself from all of the toxic talk and actions I had allowed myself to ingest. I had to understand the importance of recognizing my own strengths and weaknesses, my own triggers and trauma, and my own valleys and mountains.
Getting to know yourself takes time. Understanding that you aren’t meant to be perfect is a challenge in and of itself. Loving yourself unconditionally is a process. It’s hard breaking customs, pattern, and traditions that you’ve seen modeled your whole life. It much easier to say you want different than it is to actually act and do things differently. It requires a level of freedom and fearlessness that many of us fear. It requires us to be responsible for our actions and to own our thoughts and behaviors. Being responsible is hard! But then again what consequences are there? Who is going to check you when you’re wrong?
The answer is YOU! When you are self aware you learn the importance of self accountability. When you become free the only opinion that matters as it relates to you is your own. How do I view myself? How am I loving me? Am I proud of the decision I made? Not mama, not husband, not children, but me…is Michelle happy with the decisions she’s making for her life? That’s it!
Getting here took a long time and a lot of work both on my own and with my therapist to get the necessary tools, but I am so grateful to be in this space. Do I fall off sometimes? Absolutely! Do I sometimes worry how people might receive what I say? Yep! But not in a debilitating way. Now it’s as a cautionary method to keep myself safe. Not as an end all be all of how I can live my life. You’re gonna get the real MichelleRenā because those other versions of me are discontinued!
Self Love is the best love and the only way to get to self love is to first heal yourself!!! 😘😘 You gotta do the work! Or as Zahra would say, “you gotta see it through my girl!”
I hope you are intentional about loving, healing, and caring for yourself today and everyday hereafter!
Here are a few of my current self love grooves! I literally dedicated every song to myself because I needed to fall in love with me again!
This song became my love song to myself…
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