So I'm the type of person who is always striving to do better. To be better. Honestly it drives some people close to me bonkers. The constant questioning. Moving the markers.
As a high school student, I took the ACT 5 times to break into the 30s. Because I knew I could.
In college, I took 21 hours one semester to graduate on time. (And because my advisor said I wouldn't do well. Challenge accepted.)
I set what seem like impossible deadlines and to do list. Because I know what I'm capable of when I'm in element.
I'm always analyzing and dissecting my beliefs, my goals, my why's. The patterns and processes. Relationships. And to others' chagrin, theirs too.
Unfortunately, this comes across as not being content. Because better is highly subjective, rightfully?
Well if I'm being honest, I'm not. It's not in me to be ok at my current level when I know what's waiting for me is bigger and better. I use to be afraid to chase my goals. Afraid to be loud about my ambitions. I didn't want to see ungrateful or arrogant. But the thing is, I am grateful. And if flexing in my God given abilities is seen as arrogant
I learn so much about myself and those around me. I'm grateful for every blessing and every lesson. The mental, and sometimes physical (looking at you, box jumps), bumps and bruises. Because every round allows me to be a blessing to someone else who is embarking on the same journey.
When we talk to people about their spiritual walk, we never ask why they aren't content. We want them to grow in faith, right? So if He came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly, why do we shun people who have lofty goals and dreams? What is it about them that makes us so uneasy? As if we get to decide another's station in life.
While we should always stay in a place of gratitude, no one should be made to feel bad for wanting more in life. To grow and to evolve is a journey that we should be able to choose without judgement. As many times as we want. The Phoenix rises from the ashes better for it. Every.single.time.
And I'm here for it.