It's Thursday and I am 18 days in on this 30 days of gratitude challenge. Reflecting this month has been such a cathartic experience. I didn't know how much I needed this release until I began but that's not what I am grateful for. Today, I am grateful for my big girl Zahra!
I often express how much I love my children. They are the light of my life truly! But today i have to highlight my love for my oldest. Getting pregnant with her was such a pivot point in my life. I was living and having big fun and boom I end up pregnant and needing to figure my whole life out. I wasn't sure I was ready but I was so excited to become a mother I dropped everything and got focused. I got a "real job" teaching, moved back home to my support system and started prepping for my girl's arrival.
Zahra came and changed my whole outlook on life. I knew I wanted more for her. I wanted to be the best mom ever and give her the world. I wanted to become a woman she could be proud of. I think I have hit my mark, but more importantly I believe that I have helped her to learn who she is and decide what she might want to be when she grows up. I am literally raising my best friend and it's the hardest yet most rewarding feeling I have ever had. I correct her when she needs it and I motivate her in the same way. I am watching her learn what she likes and doesn't like all while helping her find her own voice for self advocacy. She's my biggest cheerleader and I am hers.
No one told me it would be this way and I am kinda glad that I didn't take all of the parenting advice that I was given. I prayed, asked questions, sought counsel, and let the spirit guide me with this one and so far it's been good. She is not perfect and I do not expect her to be, but she is freaking amazing! She's fun and hard headed like a typical teenager, but she is also driven and determined to learn the lesson (even if it is the hard way sometimes.) And that's ok too! She is a talented braider and digital designer and a future entrepreneur. I love her more than words could ever express and I am truly grateful that I was blessed to be the vessel that brought her to this life. She is the one who helped give my life purpose and direction. My work ethic and drive kicked in gear the first time I saw her heartbeat flickering on the fetal monitor. Today, and everyday, I am grateful for my first heartbeat Zahra!
What are you grateful for today?
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