Happy Monday y’all! Oh yeah, we still on love over here so get ready. I love sharing my Dope Black love story because I think it gives people a real depiction of what love can look like. We are not perfect by any means but I think our story shows you that love can be found in strange places at strange times AND that sometimes even when you find it, it may still need time to work itself out.
So when I met my hubby what feels like a forever ago, I was visiting West Palm Beach, FL for my oldest brother’s funeral. We stopped by the mall and I couldn’t resist stopping in Finish Line to check out the newest sneakers. I have always been a sneaker head and shoe lover. Anywho, as I’m standing there with one of my brothers and my nephew a gentleman approached me. In our maybe 5-10 minute conversation, this man wooed me. He told me that day right then that he was going to marry me.
I looked at him so stunned but unimpressed because I had just come out of a relationship that was supposed to end in marriage. I wasn’t interested in anyone wasting any more of my time and I made that very clear. Honestly, I was kinda rude, but clearly this guy liked a challenge. I gave him the number with a long dissertation about not being another pointless interaction and I even reminded him that I didn’t live in Florida ( I was in Atlanta at the time) and it might be best if we just count this as a chance meeting. Needless to say, this man left out of the building with my number memorized and called me immediately. We talked for a good 20 minutes before I had to get back to my family. But there was an instant spark there!
Fast forward a few weeks later and he was visiting me in Atlanta. Fast forward a few months later and he was traveling with me to visit my family for the holidays. After that a series of travel dates ensued. We had so much fun getting to know each other and really building a strong friendship while dating. Then one day he ghosted me.
I was so hurt and confused. Like WTF dude? But, I didn’t sweat it. I felt like it was good while it lasted. Then we fell into a friend space where we just kept in touch with one another. We never really unpacked why he chose not to pursue the relationship further but we both kinda kept a temperature check on one another. You know the en passant “How are you?” “How’s life treating you?” banter!
At this point, I’m dating other folks and now pregnant and going on with my life. He went on with his and we both cheered each other on from afar. Life continued to happen and we stayed abreast of one another through the random Facebook updates we’d each post. He’d been married and had another babygirl. I’d been single and now had two of my own. I sent a happy birthday wish (like I do for everyone’s birthday) but this time he responded with a genuine thanks.
Years had passed and this time when we each asked how life was treating the other the response was different. More seasoned. We reconnected and this time there was a more serious focus. We were both on a more serious and intentional spiritual journey in life. We were both searching for ourselves in a sense. While he had been married in our time apart. I had only experienced short lived failed encounters.
I always loved him and knew he loved me. I wasn’t sure why things didn’t work other than life was meant to be different and it had to take its course. We decided to give each other another try and in true us fashion we didn’t move slow at all. I moved. We married. And then another baby. Yes we’ve known each other for almost 16 years but we just met one another for the first time again when we moved in together 8 years ago.
We have experienced ups and downs. The full gambit of emotions but the thing that has been present from the very beginning is the love and friendship. I literally married my best friend and when I stopped trying to make him into someone else I am now able to enjoy the full benefits of marrying your best friend.
There isn’t anything that can be said about him to me that I won’t either already know or fully understand. He’s free and empowered to be himself and I have that same freedom. We aren’t perfect but we get to coexist in a safe space created by us, for us. I love that man and he loves me. I have watched him become a superhero for our girls and a personal cheerleader for me. I have watched him grow into a leader and a force while still maintaining his personality and infectious sense of humor. He gets me and I get him. A Love Supreme!
Mariah Carey once sung that “love takes time” and I couldn’t agree more. Even though I’ve loved my hubby from the moment I met him, I still recognize that long lasting love takes time and a for real commitment to working through the not so mushy and lovey dovey days. Everyday won’t bring sunshine but there is power in knowing that even when it rains the sun will shine again and when it does you’ll get to see all the beauty that the rain brought.
I said all of this to encourage you to never give up on love. If you find it and it’s not perfect then you’re likely on the right track. Because honestly, if it looks too good to be true then it probably is but you won’t know that if you don’t give love a try!
We all deserve a love that is bigger than us. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different. So shoutout to my Dope Black Husband on this beautiful Man Crush Monday!
Do you have a Dope Black love story you want to share? Email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will feature it next Monday for Valentine’s Day!
In the meantime, keep spreading love and showing grace!
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