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Transparency Tuesday: Teaching My Girls How to Be a Friend By Being a Friend

I am learning that while I truly value transparency and the freedom of openness that it affords me, it is critical that I narrow down those who have VIP access to my life. We often find ourselves burned all the way out because we lack the governor necessary to restrict access to those who tend to drain us.

What does your VIP section look like?

Is it filled with folks who genuinely want to see you win or is it oversaturated with folks who just want to know your next moves? I have never subscribed to the "I got a bunch of haters" narrative. I think everyone serves a purpose in your life. Even those who seem to have an oppositional view of everything you do. However, I am learning that not all who want to be in your VIP need to be. It is ok to restrict or limit access. Find your tribe and nurture those relationships. Peep those who are in the trenches with you as prayer warriors, shoulders to lean on, or giggle buddies and nurture those relationships. Everyone doesn't need or deserve a front row seat. Truth be told not everyone even wants that privilege so act accordingly.

I have been working with my daughters to teach them the reigns of friendship. I am teaching them what it looks like to be a good friend so they can recognize those who aren't operating in that fashion. This is something that I wished I would have learned early on. But I am grateful to have the friendships that I have. They are strong and different. Each one provides exactly what I need when I need it. I finally understand what is meant by "everybody ain't your friend" and I am adding some sauce to that for my girls.

Everybody ain't your friend and that's ok because they don't need to be. The real ones will present themselves and you must remember to be the friend that you desire.

When you find your tribe they won't need a VIP pass. They will already have it! These are the lessons I wish I had early on in life because whew...friendships were exhausting pre-twentysomething.



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