Listen, I have to tell you that while Black women have been called strong for centuries, it is not exactly a compliment. Let me break it down to you. Black women are strong as f#@k it is true, however our strength does not make us superhuman. Nor does it make us feel the impact of pain and hurt any less. For example, because of our strength, which in many cases has been forced due to circumstances, we are not viewed as being capable of being soft.
Let me be clear...
I do not want to be strong all the time!
Sometimes, I want to be able to be vulnerable and needy. If I am hurting or in pain I shouldn't have to suck it up and be strong! I should be able to depend on someone to help me carry the load. Even if it is only for a short while. I want to be able to cry and embrace my feelings without it dismantling the fact that I am also capable of overcoming great things. In all things there must be balance and this is one thing that lacks balance and effects so many women. We are constantly putting up the strong front that even we forget to lean into our softer state at times.
Trust me, women get tired of always having to suck it up and be strong! Working a full time job, whether in home or outside of the home, raising the kids, cleaning the house, and trying to entertain your mate is exhausting. Not once did I mention anything regarding self care. Folks really have women twisted. So when I hear things like "he wouldn't have cheated if she was taking care of him" or "she could've done more to that baby's hair" I want to go all the way off. Like WTF!! Are we superwomen, hell yeah! But even superheroes have time to recover and even some of them have sidekicks that step in and take some of the blows.
Strong as a descriptor has definitely become a trigger word for me. I recognized that many of us have persevered through strenuous circumstances. I know that I don't speak for all women, but I have spoken to so many that share the same sentiment! We are tired, we need help with daily tasks, and please don't mistake our strength for our lack of needing support or basic care.
Strength should not be a replacement for support and care. If this is what being strong is then I will sign up to be weak at least once month. Cuz ummm, this ain't it!
Happy Friday and lighten your load sis! You don't have to wear the cape all day everyday!