It's day 19 of my 30 days of gratitude challenge and yes it is getting harder each day to do but it forces me to take a real look at my life and what I value. Thinking about what you are grateful for will make you realize how much you are ungrateful for but that is a whole different post. Today and every day I am grateful for my sweet middle child, Kai Elizabeth.
She is truly one of a Kai-nd! "I had no business getting pregnant without being married a second time" they said. "I was not going to be able to take care of two kids as a single mother without struggling" they said. "No one will ever want you with two kids and two babydaddies" they said. Y'all...THEY LIED!
Zahra may have given me purpose, but Kai Elizabeth taught me how to love without conditions and without restraint.
She came into the world hah-len (hollering) but when they placed her in my arms all was calm. She smiled from that moment on. She was the sweetest, most content baby ever. Never fussy or whiny. She was an adorable toddler, very funny, and creative. She has grown into an eclectic, free-spirited preteen with such a positive outlook on life that I am often placed in the position to protect her from the ugly the world has to offer.
This beautiful little butterfly has come with her own set of challenges. She is highly gifted, creative, and so many other things. She is can be a peaceful sunset or as dangerous as a tsunami. She comes with her own quirks and ticks that we are all working daily to figure out and navigate through and it gets very hard sometimes. But the love that I have for her and who she is at the core is something that is very difficult to describe. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my children, but the love that I have for each one of them is so very different. They each require something unique and different because they are unique and different. I would be doing them a disservice if I only focused on trying to give them the same type and amount of love.
Kai taught me the importance of understanding love languages well before I would ever enter another relationship. She helped me understand the importance of being heard as well as how essential it is to listen to gain understanding versus listening to respond or defend. I learned patience because of her and the power of the mind when dealing with adversity. She has taught me so much about my own mental health and wellness and why we have to advocate for ourselves and our children on the regular. She helped me to learn that it is ok to not be ok, but it is not ok to expect someone to know that you are not ok if you don't tell them. Yep, she has taught me a lot and I am still learning everyday that we are together. I pray for her everyday, all day. I am grateful for who she is and wouldn't change a thing about her. Today, I am reminded of how grateful I am to be Kai Elizabeth's mother.
What are you grateful for today?
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