As I reflect on 2022 and prepare to enter the new year, I have worked hard to practice what I’ve been preaching for years now. I have been on my self care, pouring into me, healing Michelle, focus on myself energy real big! I realized that while I was doing all of the work to motivate others and encourage them to heal and do the work to live their best lives but I wasn’t doing the work for myself.
I was only talking about the work and I guess praying that through osmosis and speech I would be healed. Yeah, it definitely doesn't work like that. This year brought revelation to so many things that I didn’t fully understand. I learned so much more about Michelle the mother, the friend, the sister, the daughter, the spouse, and most importantly the woman. I realized that I have been discounting the love and affection that I need and only giving myself the bare minimum. I was literally dying in every single way.
I didn’t like that so I stopped. What did I stop doing? Everything! I stopped doing all of the things that were making me sick or feel unfulfilled. I just stopped. I thought about all of the coaching messages and all of the motivational posts and quotes that I would share daily and I started actually doing them. Sometimes that meant that I wouldn’t be able to focus on posting about my lived experiences but instead I focused on actually living them.
In 2022, I took my physical and mental health and wellness more serious. I made exercise and clean eating my new norm and I found balance in doing what I need to achieve physical health and things that I have to do to be mentally stable and overcome depression and anxiety. I showed up for me and got consistent with my goals and routine. I had been working on my health for almost two years but this year it finally clicked and I stopped cheating myself.
I left a job that I loved but didn’t feel compensated enough for and moved my family to a whole different place to do the work I love and adequately support my family. Sometimes you just have to pick up and move. You are not a tree!
I became more intentional about all of my relationships. I focused on my marriage and discovered that being friends first allows us way more grace than the pressure of trying to be the perfect partner all of the time. I learned that even the best parents still suck at parenting sometimes but you can’t quit no matter how bad you want to. I learned that no one will advocate harder for your children so don’t let up. Don’t let people tell you what they think is best for your kid if it’s not backed by some real data or research.
This year also taught how much I need and value therapy. Not having a therapist most of the year and then moving and having to find all new practitioners has been hard as hell but we are getting closer every day. This year has been about finding my way and I haven’t enjoyed every moment of it but it has allowed me to grow exponentially. Let me not discredit the great moments that I have enjoyed because they were truly amazing.
So no, I didn't wait for the new year to unlock my new me. I've been working on me all year long and it's been the most interesting, beautiful, and meaningful experience I've ever had. I hope to write more, share more, and explore more in this coming year. This year will begin another decade of life for me and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. Spending time with friends and family, doing things I've always wanted to do, and just enjoying life are my plans for the next year and all the years to come! Oh and I started my loc journey in the 12th month! All will be well because all is well. I love you and I hope you're loving yourself the way that you deserve!
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XOXO,
MichelleRena
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