A few years ago I attended a courageous conversations training and there were a few jewels that really stuck with me. (If you aren't familiar with Courageous Conversations they are an award-winning protocol for effectively engaging, sustaining and deepening interracial dialogue created by Glenn Singleton). Any who, let me break down what it means and why it matters to me and my mental health.
What does "accepting non-closure" mean? It means...
Solution may be revealed in the process of dialogue itself: There is no "quick fix."
Dialogue triggers a moral, intellectual, social, and emotional shift that allows for opportunities.
The more one talks, the more one learns; the more one learns, the more appropriate and promising your actions and interventions.
While this protocol relates specifically to interracial dialogue, I am learning to apply it to everyday life, especially as it relates to my mental health and wellness. This is a strategy that covers so much more than just a courageous conversation. It covers a courageous journey though life and is a much needed step toward healing and wholeness.
In short, there are sometimes things and situations that we want to be different. We want to know why people do things the way they do or why a relationship or friendship may have ended a certain way. As hard as it is to accept sometimes, I had to learn to accept non-closure. I had to let it go. I was literally losing my mind trying to resolve issues that had no resolution or at least not a quick one. Wasting energy exhausting myself with attempts at conversations with people who didn't seek to find a solution, and allowing myself to be triggered constantly into bouts of depression and anxiety. I had to stop and accept that I would not know why things were the way they were or why they may have ended the way they did. Even though it proved to be an amazing release once I let it go, it was still very hard. That is why my self-care journey is so critical and ongoing. That is why I am determined to steal away the moments that I need to restore my mind, meditate on my being, write out the vision, and manifest my purpose. That is why I have learned to accept non-closure on things. It honestly goes back to the serenity prayer.
Serenity Prayer – Full Version (composed in 1940s)
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to His Will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him Forever and ever in the next. Amen.
Having these words provides so much comfort and allows me to be able to manifest the peace that I so desire. Such an amazing affirmation.
I find so much peace in music and each day I seek to find new artists that embody what I feel. There is not one single genre that embodies that plethora or emotions, feelings, and things that I experience and feel from day to day. I love music that speaks to me through melodies and chords. Sometimes that's in a praise and worship song. Sometimes it's in an R&B song. This song caught my attention a few weeks ago and it just so happens that the title is "Self-Care" so I thought it was appropriate to share it as a part of my Self Care Sunday post this week. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It is a part of my growing “Self Care” playlist.
Disclaimer: This song contains language that might be viewed as explicit to some. Also, I do not own the rights this music.
Here is my full Self Care Playlist! What is your favorite song to listen to during your time alone? Share in the comments and I will add it to the playlist.