Parenting is overstimulating!

Yes, I said it! Parenting is overstimulating and tiring AF!

And let me be clear, I am talking about full-time, every day, all-day parenting. Not drive by parenting. I am legit with my babies every waking moment that I am not at work. If I am at home they are in my skin. I love it but I am still a person. I still need my alone time and I have noticed a pattern. By Wednesday of each week I am either overstimulated or on the verge of dysregulation.

Yesterday, my body was fighting me because I am tired... and when I am tired, I am not as hyperfocused...and when I am not hyperfocused, I eat what I can...and when I eat what I can, then I am not intentional about avoiding foods that may cause an allergic reaction, then I ended up curled over in a ball hurling like a college frat boy during homecoming and scared to eat starting a new cycle of starvation that is trauma response to my fear of becoming sick and vomiting but now I have a hunger headache and a whole new set of issues.

See that spiral? That is what happens in my brain when I am tired or sleepy or distracted...i.e. overstimluated from things like decision fatigue, ripping and running (as the elders would say), and simply doing too much!

Systems and schedules are essential for keeping me regulated. I eat the same things almost everyday because having a routine ensures I don't eat something that will make me sick. And while it might seem crazy to some, carrying all of my things with me in my cart ensures that I don't forget anything and get thrown off track because I am now hyperfocused on what is missing versus what I do have.

Routines are critical to my success. I like doing the same things everyday! It's why I decided after traveling as a a musician that I didn't want to be a singer/performer like Queen Bee! I have the talent but I can't manage the schedule of being somewhere different every week. I like my routine. I like my bed, I like my house, I like my things...change is hard!

But sometimes, change is essential and a new routine is critical for your success. That is where I am right now. The parenting part is just the tip of the iceberg of overstimulating happenings in my life. While I want to just go somewhere and take a long nap, I have to keep pushing forward every single day because there are three little girls watching my every move and learning from the examples and precedents that I set. I don't want to fail them. So instead, I make lists and charts, color and plan, load and unload that little red cart everyday to maintain the routine and fight toward the finish line. Overstimulated or not, I have to show up and thankfully my girls hear me when I say it out loud and respect it because they have experienced it too. I have shown them what it looks like to be overwhelmed, but my next move is to show them what it looks like to live life soft, carefree, under-stimulated, and self-regulated.

It's coming...change is coming and I will find joy in it!

I hope you found joy today! I did...I will tell you where in a few weeks!

Love,

MichelleRena

IKR!