I had a supervisor in the past that would constantly remind of Philippians 4:6-7 whenever my anxiety for home or work would overtake me. The verse reads: ”Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.“
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
Here’s the thing! Life is busy. Stress is real. And the mind knows just when to replay a slideshow filled with photos of past failures. Once that begins, we’re reminded that we don’t have time for the fun things we once did, and it doesn’t take long to feel as if the world is crashing down around us. We’ve all been there. For me, it’s been every time Kai has a new onset or illness whether it is autism related or not. My mind and the mom guilt attempt to make me feel guilty for not knowing sooner, not seemingly doing more.
My new approach when I find myself stressed to the max with negative thoughts running amok, I take a look around. Sometimes we forget all we truly do have. Even in times of stress, God provides. When negativity starts creeping in, turn stressful thoughts into remembering the blessings.
When work is stressing you out? You have a job, and that’s a blessing and you have the right and ability to continue applying for another until you find one that stresses you less.
Are the kids being wild and unruly while you’re trying to clean the house? You have little ones and a house, and those are blessings.
Are you stressed because you can’t see your friends when you want? You have friends, and that’s a blessing.
Try looking at things outside of what’s causing the stress and count the blessings around you. Be thankful for the clothes on your back or for having water to drink. Sometimes all it takes to stop the mental “failure slideshow” is to start thinking through all the things that have going right, all the things for which you are grateful, and all the ways God has been faithful.
Remember: ”Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God“
Philippians 4:6 NIV
Strategy: Pause and Breathe
"Be still, and know that I am God.” PSALM 46:10
We’ve all reached our breaking points before. We’ve all raised our voices, slammed doors, cried out of anger, and maybe even canceled evening plans (or even future plans 🤦🏽♀️) because we hit our allotted amount of stress and frustration for the day or week. I had a recent episode where I reacted worse than a tired toddler in a grocery store. And while we all have different factors that set us off, we’ve all had those moments when enough was enough. We are all human after all.
Nobody feels good about losing their cool and if you’re like me it takes only five to ten minutes before the regret and mom guilt kick in because we know we didn’t handle the situation correctly. 😭
Here’s the truth, Mama, your kids are watching how you react, and they are learning from you. Kai literally mimics my every move and word. Laila is only 7 so she’s learning how to deal with conflicts and stressors through my responses. And Zahra as a teen is watching how adult women react in real time with every living example. Remember, you have to give yourself grace. Take a moment for a deep breath, calm down, apologize for your actions, and try your best to do better next time. And then when you start to feel as if you are on the brink again, find an empty room, pause, take deep breaths, and ask God to help you through it. Remember, Sis, spilled milk may be big in the moment, but having a lens of grace with your kids and with situations you face can help you live more like Jesus. Remember that He is in control and can change your perspective and your response. His presence can take you from a place of extreme stress and frustration to a place of serenity and strength.
It’s okay Sis! No, it wasn’t your best moment. But in the long run, when your children remember how you made them feel over the 18 (or more) years of their childhoods, they will look back and see the few times you lost it as just that—the few times that Mom lost it. The larger impact of your love and kindness will not be lost. You will have also shown them how to navigate through life’s stressful times with real examples of grace, mercy, resilience, and perseverance. So breathe and take in God’s grace, and next time, remember to pause, be still, and know that God is in control.
We know moms are supposed to be superheroes but we are super HUMANS first! There are going to be moments when you lose your patience and feel overwhelmed. It’s just going to happen! The good news is you can tap into God’s love and patience anytime, and He will lend it to you. And when He gives you grace for the moment, He enables you to pass it on to your family. These moments don’t define who you are, and they don’t define what kind of mother you are. Remember God is using your motherhood journey to bring you closer to Him, so you are growing and learning too. This stress, the trial, the anxiousness, and rough times were just learning moments—nothing more, nothing less.
The word says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”“
Psalms 46:10 NIV
Ultimately, let God be God and all will be well! Repurpose that stress into a lesson and a reminder of all the ways that you are blessed. Give yourself grace and don’t give up! Here are my favorite ways to decompress and self regulate!
Love you 😘
~MichelleRena