Hey Y’all! It’s been a minute. I’ve missed sharing my thoughts each day with you all. The last 26 days have been quite a whirlwind. From becoming extremely dizzy and nauseous as I was leaving work June 8th to an ER visit June 9th and the onset of a complete loss of mobility for more than two weeks after. Whew chile!
After doctor visits, an MRI, and more scheduled doctor visits here’s what we learned…I have some spinal cord compressions which is causing deterioration in my lower lumbar. This helps explains some of the mobility issues and vestibular neuronitis vertigo which accounts for constant dizziness.
How did all of this happen? Short answer: STRESS!
I have allowed stress to run rampant in my life. Trying to be SuperMom for my kids and SuperWoman in life nearly killed me. I went from riding my bike and working out daily to needing help getting to and from the bathroom. They say stress is a silent killer but I know for a fact that stress gives your body some loud warning signs before it takes you out. You just have to take heed.
In the past I ignored the signs but this last one hit me hard. I can say it hit my husband too. He recognized the reality that is my anxiety and how he can help deflect some of the triggers I experience. This has been hard to say the least. I had all of these plans for work and leisure. All of that went out of the window.
Now, I’m just happy to be able to go to the bathroom alone and give myself a shower again. I’m grateful to know my boundaries and I’m learning not to push them. I’m humbled enough to say I can’t do something or this is too much. I’m utilizing the word “NO” instead of being accommodating when I know I don’t have the capacity for something. I’m learning and growing. I am also realizing that most of my problem has been me. 🥺
Ultimately, my end game is to see my children’s children well into adulthood. I want to be here healthy and functional as a great grandma one day. Stress ain’t the way to get there and I can see that crystal clear now. So no, I’m not going back to normal...EVER! I am establishing some new, healthy norms and boundaries that will better serve me and my family. Oh, and the triggers…(I’ll talk more in depth about that tomorrow)…I’m learning how to deal with the triggers too!
I’m happy to be back but most importantly I’m happy to be alive and on the road to wellness! Thank you to everyone who has stood in the gap and prayed with me and for me. To my friends who have checked on me regularly, sent cards, gift cards, recovery tools and holistic medicine, those who visited, and those who kept my spirits high throughout this journey…THANK YOU! To my family, thank you for taking care of my babies! To my husband, thank you for caring for me in ways I didn’t know you could. I am beyond grateful. I’m both nervous and excited about this next phase of life but I finally recognize that self-care and self-love can’t wait. They are right now requirements For my existence. I vow to be loving and caring towards myself first and foremost!
Thanks Mon for holding it down and keeping this thing alive! I love you!
Your girl is back…with some real boundaries this time!
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