For quite some time I’d been looking for this woman. I went on a journey at the start of 2020 to find her and free her from bondage and I literally just found her. What woman…who is she?
She is Me! I finally found myself!
For years, I walked around feeling weighed down by some many things. Majority of which were things I had absolutely no control over. Things like, how people viewed me, if they thought I was pretty enough, what I wore or could afford, what they thought of my parenting or lifestyle choices. Frankly a bunch of stuff that just isn’t their business. Yet, I found myself calculating every move as if the opinions of others would fuel or finance my life.
I found myself anxious, drained, and depressed. The way I was living and doing life had to change. Anxiety was birthing fear and I was struggling more and more to shake it off and press forward. But then I began to write and blog. I started singing more and focused more on doing the things I genuinely love. Like hanging out with my kids because I think they’re fun and real life chilling with my husband because he’s a riot and honestly my best friend. I started prioritizing my self care and meditation an making it an intentional process and routine. In short, I finally started to give a fuck about Michelle and worry less about what other folks think of her. I needed to think of her and consider her, and build a life that she loves!
I finally met her and I love her!
Meeting her and freeing her was by far my greatest accomplishment this year. Freeing her allowed me to give and receive love in such a dynamic and abundant way. It also allowed me to unlock a level of parenting that focuses more on rearing affirmed, empowered, balanced, and confident children who understand that I am their appointed guide on a life journey rather than their owner who was sent to oversee them and whip them into an obedient and submissive state.
Freeing her has allowed me to truly walk in my divine feminine and honor the space which is sacred within me. It has afforded me the space to be vulnerable with my spouse and my closest friends in order to build stronger foundational and functional relationships. Freeing her gave me the confidence to advocate for myself and my needs and to freely express, to enforce my boundaries and to focus on making memories rather than impressing or worrying about the opinions of others. In the words of Mon, “phuck them folks!” (That has become my mantra!)
2021 gave me a freedom that I didn’t know I needed. As I prepare to welcome 2022, I know this new year will be the point at which I soar in realms I had no idea I would even explore. If you haven’t met you yet I pray this this next 365 takes you on a journey to self discovery and freedom! There’s truly nothing like it that I’ve ever experienced.
Happy New Year from The Martins!
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